Escaping Fences in Thailand
I have arrived in Thailand and am finally getting to feel warm again. I have been looking forward to the heat and the sun for a number of different reasons the first of which is simply because I enjoy being warm and I love sunshine. The second reason is about the break from China where life has slipped into routines and habits that sometimes get in the way of being present in either the inner or the outer world. And finally, because the heat and the sunshine are part of what I see as my alchemical process of transformation.
I know that I am constantly changing, but more often than not, the changes are just things that happen to me, more about unconscious relation to others and the environment than about individuation. The first photo I took after arriving in the Jomtiem sector of Pattaya, was of this tree, a late afternoon photo when the sun paints gold onto the world, or should I say the sun allows light to diminish just enough so that the embedded gold of life has an opportunity to radiate out into the world. During the heat and intense light of the daytime, the gold is hidden by the white light, an intense light that cooks, bakes and boils the world.
As the light withdraws, it allows the handiwork of the changes wrought during the day to emerge, transformed, into gold. This is how I approach and understand my own process of transformation, becoming a bit more conscious, a bit more gold, with the repeated bathing in the purifying light of the sun.
I see this tree as symbolic of my self. I am hemmed in by life, constrained and limited by the ego that wants to stay in control, even if it means that the psyche’s growth should be stunted. Like this tree, I am learning to grow over the fences. Rather than deny the fence or deny the self, I enfold the boundaries to become part of my self. I think I just learned something here.