A Moment of Wonderment in the Garden
Do you ever wonder what the point of all of this is about? Do you pass the hours as though you are waiting for something to happen, waiting for a future time when something will happen to validate all the waiting? When I was a lot younger, I have to admit that I was too busy being father, husband, teacher, counsellor, coach, and whoever else was needed by life from moment to moment. And that, was as it should be – living and being present in the moment.
But somewhere along the way a question began to squirm in the background – why? And with that question one has a tendency to look to the past as if that could give an answer; or one looks to the future avoiding the past that has been a part of getting to this present moment. More often than not, one simply shrugs and buries himself or herself in a good book, or another cigarette, or another workout in hopes of sweating the devil out – any addictive strategy that allows us to escape the anxiety of simply being present as we truly are as an individual.
I am falling victim, less and less, to the idea that it will all be better tomorrow, or some other time in the future. I ask myself, why not do it now, if that is what is going to give some measure of peace? And, I tell myself to look around and see what is here, now, to really see and know that I am here. It’s hard to be here when the head begins to wonder about tomorrow, or some distant tomorrow which might never come.
~ ~ ~
You Are Here – I Am Here – Now
The sun breaks through another passing cloud
warming me as I sit in the garden with a drink in hand.
Brisk breezes push warm air around my body
cooling as it passes over my dampened skin.
Lizards dance in and out of view,
stopping to raise heads in the air
as they make unheard conversation.
Breathing in I know I am here,
here in the sunshine and feeling the radiant heat of the sun,
here in the wind that moves my hair, feeling its cool touch,
here seeing and being seen,
A passing thought takes me away,
takes to an imagined tomorrow where
I see uncounted variations of imagination
which begin to feel as some ultimate truth
before I again become aware of being here,
a gentle thought arises reminding me
to breath, to be present
A shadow of anger and then regret disturbs
this moment in the garden and I fall into
old stories that had been abandoned so long ago
only to reappear at this moment
somehow changed in spite of that impossibility.
The shadows change their story because I have changed
and I am the author of those shadows,
then a gentle thought arises reminding me
to breath, to be present
2014 04 06 – Puerto Morelos, Casa Sorpresas