Archive for October 2014
I have finally synchronized my private domain blog site with this older, WordPress.com blog site. I have been seeing new people subscribing to this site at “retiredeagle” and decided it would meet the needs and interests of “all” of my readers to ensure that everyone can get to read the same posts. Of course that meant that I had to import several years of posts to this site. I look forward to this being well received.
I have finally wrapped up the work of many years, the telling of my story from infancy to the moment I left home at the age of 20 in search of a whole life. The people in the book are all real people though the names of everyone in the book, well almost everyone, has been changed in order to protect those that are still living, my brothers and sisters and other extended family members.
As I worked through this story, time after time, I realised that I would never find all the puzzle pieces to end the story. But then, it isn’t necessary to have all the pieces. What is important in telling one’s story is to listen to one’s own words and dig deeper into what those words evoke. In this way, emotional affect is reduced and going forward in peace is achieved. I owe thanks to so many for the unfolding of this story. My family, especially my wife, have listened patiently to the tales. My therapists and analysts have also played a huge role with keeping me safe as the images emerged and the story began to write itself.
I now gift all of you with a free copy of the e-book A Broken Boy On The Broken Road.
Sometimes I find images without looking for them, images that are powerful statements. This image to the left is the latest image that found a path through my thinking mind to reach deep into the core of my psyche, that place that we call “Soul.” I hope someone knows the artist who created this masterpieces as she/he deserves recognition. The image was tied to an article on a depth psychology website belonging to Paul Deblaissie. The article is brief, but it does touch on a theme I have been writing about fairly often over the past few months, that of “Shadow.”
There is no doubt in my mind that we are hurting as a human race. We know that there is something wrong, but we aren’t exactly sure what it is that needs fixing in us, in others, and in the world in general. When we look in the mirror, we flinch and protest that this can’t really be who we are, this stranger in the mirror. Somehow, the internal images we have of ourselves don’t match what our eyes see. How do we solve this problem? Most often, we cover up the outer self as well as engage in all manner of efforts to physically change what is seen in the mirror. Make up, diets, exercise in expensive gyms, sunlamps, designer label clothing, tattoos and piercings, plastic surgery: the efforts to reshape and hide the ugly truth that is staring at us in the mirror. But, the image we want to achieve seems impossible to attain in spite of all the money, time and effort we devote to erase that ugly truth. Life just isn’t fair.
It isn’t just our bodies that are betraying us, we see that so many people around us are working overtime to convince us that we need to work harder and spend more money to become worthy humans, to be lovable. In spite of those closest to us who love us as we are and tell us that, we dismiss these affirmations of our outer and inner self. After all, regardless of the truth, they are obliged to affirm us in spite of our ugliness, our imperfections which we so desperately want to banish. We look out and see the images of perfection in all of our media. We see all those smart and fashionable people who seem to have what we are desperately seeking. And we become angry, especially with ourselves. We hate being defective, imperfect. And so we hide and deny as much about ourselves as we can.
What we need is what we can’t seem to give ourselves, a compassionate acceptance of our body, mind and soul.